March 2011
14 posts
Lust
from butterflies to headaches. from infatuation to heartbreak. stages of lust.
“‘Not again
Oh, this ain’t supposed to happen to me”
– Keri Hilson—Knock You Down
“Soon as I got comfortable being single & being a hard ass you came &...”
Playing Myself....
You’ve ever got the feeling that you were playing yourself?!? Like you KNOW that ish you doing is not gone work out in your favor or the way you want it to but you just cant help it?!? Smfh. Def going through that right now! Like yes, Mr. Yeah is amazing in certain aspects but he is also……..different in ways. Him being different is what attracted me to him but the ways he’s...
Chaos
I try to not let the negativity, chaos & drama from my life spill into the one thing in my life other than my relationship with Jaden thats not tainted and still happy which is my relationship or whateva I’m doing with him. But its really really hard when it starts to affect how, when or how often I can see him or makes my attitude completely poor where I dont want to talk to anybody....
Society
Shame on u soceity
for placing labels and titles on me
trying to tell me what i should and shouldnt be
and pushing us further & further away from Christianity
God says sex should be sacred between husband and wife
the media tells us its cool if u do it on the first night
nice guys finish last and bad girls have all the fun
but nobody mentions the heartbreak, tears & pain thats there...
Music
Soooo he asked did I trust him tonight. I told the truth. I dont. He thinks its because of how we started out. Thats partially the reason. the other is the twitter ish with ole girl. Anywho, by the end of the convo it was agreed we were gonna start talking thru songs and lyrics. All my idea cuz there are sooooo many lyrics that make me think about or relate to how I feel about him. :) Pretty...
Something Else That He Does....
Okay earlier I blogged about all the amazing, wonderful feelings that he gives me. But I failed to mention the ONE horrible horrible horrible thing that I cant get past. I do NOT trust him. At all. And its partially because my trust is fucked up from past situations and partially cuz I think he’s sneaky & dishonest in certain aspects and sitatuions. Like I know for sure he’s not...
What He Does To Me....
He makes me feel like even with all the negative going on around me & all the odds stacked against me, I’m still winning & gonna come out on top at the end of the day.
He makes me feel like he’s there for me regardless of what it is I need and we’re in this together….and we’re not even together. Thats saying a lot cuz I was in a relationship with a nigga for...
“Moving too fast? Usually you will trip over something small. Trippin leads to...”
– my thoughts
trippin....
trust: starting to fall with the belief that someone will catch you instead of lettin you hit the ground.
im tripping. and i dont wanna fall tho. last time i fell i fell hard. and broke. into a million confusing, tiny pieces. im still putting myself back together from that tumble. so now that im starting to trip, i know that its warning signs of a fall ahead. trying to catch my balance & keep...
Slowly....
Slowly I’m entering this state of depression.
Slowly I’m on a road to self-destruction.
Slowly I’m starting to see that everybody that always said & acted like they cared so much, really dont care at all.
Slowly I’m becoming cold, bitter & heartless.
I’m slowly starting to hate my surroundings and in turn slowly starting to hate myself.
And slowly,...
how im feeling right now
needing something to do to keep busy & stop thinking! But everything that I can think of to do will only mask the things I’m trying not to think about. Wanting to escape but trying not to run away from problems anymore cuz I know they’ll still be there whenever I get back…..
scared of real cuz of what it makes me feel & feelings are the last thing i need right now. not...
: for-giving. →
i-ammonicamaria:
You. You forgive. You forgive them. do You forgive me..?
for every lie that ive told - for all the blunts that i hold - for the nights that have gone untold- (to You) do You forgive me..?
for all the choices ive made - for all the times that i forbade - for all the things that ive said - for…
